Sheffield Utd 2 – Supporters Team 8 (eight)

Team Photo 2014

Well after the infamous victory at Crawley last week Rochdale Supporters Team returned to the north last Saturday with a trip to take on Sheffield United in the most poorly organised amateur fixture that this roving reporter has ever seen.

This time no problems arised at the notorious early morning McDonalds meet and we all tucked into our traditional pre-match meals with little to no fuss, which made a refreshing change.

The journey over the hills was a pleasant one and almost without hiccup in our car at least until found ourselves driving up a rather steep hill. I’m aware that Sheffield is a fairly hilly city but it appeared there was no football pitch in sight and if there was – surely it would be on a huge slant. Panic set in until we found the park with three pitches on, none of which seemed particularly mountainous, much to our relief.

It was upon our arrival that we were told, in horrifyingly gory detail from Paul Hudson, of Luke Walsh’s less than pleasant journey over the hills. I believe that some pictures and even a video were taken of our very own Lukey puking up a few Regal Moon sambucas from the night previous. Thankfully I was told that Luke had a smile on his face throughout the ordeal. IS THERE ANYTHING THIS MAN DOES NOT ENJOY?

The next problem would arrive when it appeared that the Blades didn’t know which pitch was best. We settled on the one closest to the changing rooms, before changing our mind and moving to the one closest to the car park, before then changing our mind once more and returning to the pitch closest to the changing rooms. By this time I was knackered and in all honesty ready for a pint.

But we weren’t ready for kick off just yet as it turned out Sheffield United’s side had been let down by a few players and would have to play the game with only nine men and the Dale were also missing keeper Adam Stott who’d promised he’d be there for 10 minutes before kick off. He was not. Moreover we were left without a referee. In the end we decided to lend them two players, with the Heywood Mourinho opting to allow Kyle Davies and Little/Big Walsh the opportunity to ply their trade for the Blades in the first half. These two players are generally recognised as two of the Supporters team’s more capable footballers and it’s safe to say none of us were happy with Rhys WolstenEyre for this decision. Jonny Hall was brave enough to volunteer to referee and all of a sudden we were left with 12 men.

Rory Magner was the unfortunate man to miss out on the starting eleven as Rhys threw himself between the sticks and cobbled together a back three of myself, Jack Leeming and Jonny Barton. In midfield Liam Jennings would start centrally with David Heeley and Ryan Lockett leaving the delinquent that is Luke Walsh on the right and the magnificent hair of Travis ‘Sonic’ Roberts over on the left. Paul Hudson would then start up top in a front two with captain for the day Andrew Lorimer in what can be described as a ‘wily’ strike partnership.

Nonetheless the game kicked off in scrappy circumstances with neither side really able to get going. Dale had the better of the chances however and finally took the lead through the quickly sobering Luke Walsh. Unfortunately the lead didn’t last long however as a defensive mix up at the back led to the Blades’ nippy striker to finish well and take the score to 1-1 with about 30 minutes on the clock. After some encouragement from myself and JLee the gaffer reverted to 4-4-2 from his position between the sticks and this inspired decision by myself and Leeming (and Rhys) resulted in Dale taking control and taking the lead again before the break with Sonic finishing off a terrific move.

This goal just before the half-time break seemingly took the wind out of the Sheffield United sails. Adam finally arrived and at half-time took his position between the sticks with Rory Magner Baby coming on to play on the left of the four man defence with Jonny B and Jlee centrally. Rhys and Travis swapped their blue and black shirts for red and white ones and signed 45 minute loan deals for Sheffield United with Kyle and Joe making glorious returns to the club they both love.

It’s safe to say the second half was a stroll in the park for Dale. Greek Kyle revelled in being back in his favourite coloured shirt and smashed in two goals, one of which was an absolute screamer from 30 yards over the top of the keepers head. Ryan Lockett added a goal with a strike that was almost as stunning as his face is with a daisy cutter from outside the box. Liam Jennings came on for Lockett and scored a tap-in that he had begun to celebrate before he’d even finished it off. Luke added his second of the game (and spent the rest of the match refusing to pass to anyone and seeking his hat-trick) and Hudders got himself on the scoresheet but once again I have forgotten how that happened. Hudders must just score boring goals.

Sheffield United pulled one back themselves at some point but I don’t remember that so it must have been after I was subbed off. At that point I was too busy nursing my ankle as Rhys decided to go in studs up on me as he bore down the left hand side with all the pace of Simon Coleman in his heyday. It hurt more than IM’s ankle injury did but you won’t see me in crutches any time soon. Soft lad.

The only other deserving mention goes to Jonny Hall who, despite having a go at me for gently trying to help him through his refereeing debut, actually did a fairly good job of refereeing the match, other than his decision to not send Rhys off for his horrific tackle on me. The gaffer also asked me to mention the fact that he ‘did’ Leeming twice but not only do I not remember this happening, I’m also not going to include it for fear of Jack shouting at me.

I’ve no idea what’s happening next week. I think we’re playing Halifax away. I’ve got to work so the game will hardly be worth watching, playing in or reporting on. I feel for you if it’s Iain Murray doing the report next week because his attempt for the Crawley game was pure unreadable garbage of the highest order. Any way all the best gents, do what you can to take all three points without me, as difficult as that may seem.